N. Raghuraman's column: Small talk, yields big results

Interacting with strangers was once a part of our everyday lives, but technology has put an end to that. Like it or not, but that's the truth. Go to any public place, instead of greeting each other, we keep confronting each other and then immediately say 'sorry' for fear of a fight, that too without making eye contact. Last week, I found myself in a similar situation when all the flights were running very late and the airport lounge was full of people who wanted to have their lunch before the meal was over. My eyes fell on a 2 by 2 table. A person was already having lunch on it and there was only so much space left on the table that someone could keep their glass, not a plate. If both people want to eat together, they will have to keep the plates on the sides. Even if the first one has a glass of water, yogurt and a cup of sweets, the second stranger will not dare to sit at the same table, because he knows that the first person will make a bad face and say, 'Where is the place here?' My eyes scanned the person sitting there and my experienced mind looked at the picture and said he is a 'Tamilian', go talk to him in Tamil. Perhaps my mind understood this by looking at the 'Vibhuti' on his forehead. I started speaking in pure Tamil without any other language adulteration. With a smile in his eyes, he slipped his plate away, as he had found another vegetarian to share the table. From that moment on, K. Ganesan, the secretary of the Lord Murugan (Lord Ganesha's brother) temple in Nerul, Navi Mumbai, became my friend. Since he is associated with hundreds of devotees who visit the temple, his networking ability to get things done is faster and more effective than people like me who write stories on computers. I remembered this incident when I was reading a review of a soon-to-be-released book. It's titled 'Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Can Talk Up to a Big Life'. It has been written by Dr. Gillian Sandstrom, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Sussex and Director of the Sussex Center for Research on Kindness. He specializes in small social interactions and well-being. Sandstrom's research suggests that even a small 10-second conversation with a barista at a coffee shop can strengthen our sense of community and increase positivity. The essence of his research is that small conversations are important and we need it the most today. Remember how long ago we have not only stopped asking for time and direction, but we have also stopped smiling and wishing each other. It's not because we don't respect the other person, but because our eyes are constantly on the phone. Meeting your loved ones on a plane, train, wedding or any social gathering is now a thing of the past. Sandstrom's research also shows that the elderly have less anxiety than 20-year-olds who often wonder 'what to talk to a stranger?' The book, which will be released on April 9, 2026, says that such small conversations increase our happiness, reduce loneliness and improve overall mental health. This disproves the notion that small conversations are useless or a waste of time. The trick is to leave your phone at home once a week and go to a mall, park or social place and have a small conversation with someone. Who knows, this may make a big difference in your life by solving a problem.