N. Raghuraman's column: Reduce mother's 'decision-making burden' at least on Mother's Day

"Son, don't use the doll's bathroom. You leave him dirty and he doesn't like it,' the mother says from the kitchen, yet her son uses the same washroom. Making two different sized sandwiches—because the doll likes a sandwich cut into four pieces, while the son likes the triangle-shaped one—she also quickly goes to the doll's bathroom to make sure it's dry. "This boy never listens to me," she mutters. It doesn't understand that the doll has grown up now and wants her privacy. Who will eat what in the house today, what should the daughter wear to class today, what time should she leave the house so that there is no delay, what is the problem of every member of the family that needs to be solved before they go out, when to take the pet for a walk, what instructions to give to her when the maid arrives - along with all these decisions, she would also check the husband's wallet They don't know if there is money in it or not, because they always leave it empty saying that now online payments are made everywhere, and then for some small reason they get entangled in lack of cash. They spend the whole day making decisions — small decisions, big decisions, frequent decisions, even decisions that no one sees. The mental burden of running a machinery called Ghar Parivar is no small task. Motherhood has always been a story of fatigue and sacrifice, which is played but not spoken. Their anger is also always transient. When the daughter comes from behind and hugs her and says, "Mom, I love you," no one understands where her anger, which was pouring over the whole house a few minutes ago, suddenly melted. She also hugs him lightly and says in one breath, "Well, well, I love you too." But is it time to get ready? Look, there is no time left for breakfast. That's why I always say go to bed early. Mothers in our era were caregivers, but today's motherhood has added a different kind of mental burden. From asking the simplest questions like "Have you taken your charger?" to complex things like putting toll money in the FASTag of her husband's car – she is handling it all mentally. Like the mothers of our day, they want you to appreciate them, but even more so today's mothers really want someone to see what they do for their children, partner, and extended family, while doing their full-time job. Today's fathers are more involved than ever, yet in many homes, it is the mothers who bear the unseen task and mental burden of keeping the household system going. The point is not only to know what is being done, but also to remember what work has to be done at the right time according to the convenience of which family member. And remembering who likes cheese and who doesn't is also part of that. And that's why Mother's Day shouldn't even become another chore on their to-do list. Don't ask them, "How do you want to celebrate Mother's Day?" Don't ask them, "What do you want to buy?" Their daughter, son, and husband should know what they like and what they want to wear. They don't even want to make decisions on Mother's Day. At least on this day, give them a break from running the house, although I would like you to do so often. My mother will be smiling at me from the stars that I am advising you to pamper your mother today without making any decisions. The trick is that moms feel good when they feel like you pay attention to even the smallest thing they like. It is not only a relief for them that they have raised good and sensitive children, but it also makes them feel loved. And believe me, every mother deserves it.