N. Raghuraman's column: Save children from a world that values show more than work

The large number of emotional stressors our children and teenagers are facing today can seem difficult to overcome. These include things like lack of sleep, academic pressure, and loneliness. But the problem that is increasing in the world is the number of young people undergoing treatment, that is anxiety. And this is also the biggest concern of parents. Children with anxiety often avoid things, show extreme fear of separation, or cling on. Again and again complain of problems like stomach pain, which have no obvious cause. Suddenly they get angry. Usually such children repeatedly ask for trust. Here is a collection of advice from many experts in this regard. Stop Intensive Parenting: We are living in an era of 'helicopter parenting', where parents are always keeping an eye on the child. The culture is pressuring us that good parents do not allow conflicts to come in the life of the child. One of the reasons for such parenting can also be safety concerns. Recently, two caregivers of the crèche of Capgemini's HAL campus in Brookfield, Bengaluru, were arrested after a video of a young child physically assaulted went viral. But unfortunately, the more 'over parenting' the parents, the less capable the child becomes. Even a 3-year-old child can do difficult tasks: I have seen that the first class of music or dance is scary for children. They cry and refuse to go to any other group except their mother. But those mothers are confident that the baby can do it. Most of them say 'it seems difficult right now, because you've never done it before.' But Mama knows you can. "As soon as they hear this, the children do not start dancing immediately. Rather, stand at the door of the classroom for several weeks. Then they slowly calm down and join the class. The same rule applies when they refuse to go to school. Emotions are not facts: When a child is upset, you shouldn't be upset as a parent. When you say lovingly, 'Oh, do you mind doing this?' the child's anxiety increases. They feel 'uncomfortable and insecure', which leads to a feeling in their mind that 'I can't do this' or 'it's not for me'. So always try to distinguish between feelings and facts. Academic pressure is the enemy: Many people believe that numbers are the most valuable in any school. Parents are more interested in their numbers than children and that is why they also start managing their homework closely. If you stop interfering with homework, children will feel more motivated and engaged. Parents should play a supportive role in children's education instead of being the main doer themselves. Loneliness is the big problem: this is the main cause of poor mental health. Help children deal with this by calling their friends home. Let them connect with friends instead of connecting to the screen. Since children need to expend energy, motivate them to take up sports, climbing, walking, martial arts, dance, cycling and exercise. Screens can never give such experiences. These are physical ways to reduce stress, develop courage, and tolerate discomfort. You will see that his ability is increasing. Keep talking to them constantly. For example, while walking around the colony, tell them how many trees there were in this area in your childhood. How you used to climb them and what their names were. Tell them stories from your childhood as well. The trick is to protect your children from a world that values appearances more than work. Tell them the importance of doing, creating, and solving problems rather than consuming, scrolling, or just talking about success. In the future, those who do something will always be ahead of those who just watch or talk.