N. Raghuraman's column: Festivals are the best medium to pass on the family's legacy to the next generation

The unique beauty of festivals is that they travel across generations. The form of the décor may change, the food may be healthier and the way of celebrating may be economical, but the emotions associated with it all remain the same. Every generation finds a way to make the next generation feel special in its own way. And often, it is the women in the family who make sure that this link of memories and traditions is never broken. I have seen this process in my own family over three generations – my grandmother, my mother and now my wife. My grandmother was from a time when festivals were celebrated according to the strength of the household. Since childhood, I have seen a heritage of the family – the handa. It is an old-fashioned copper vessel, which is washed by rubbing it with a lot of ash and soaked tamarind the evening before Diwali. On this, auspicious symbols of the sun and moon are made in white color from raw rice batter. The pot is also garlanded. However, the lower part is still covered with stubborn soot, which is made by burning wood for years. The whole family puts neem leaves in the same pot and takes a bath with boiled hot water. The preparations for Diwali, the rituals associated with it and the joy of the celebration – these were all traditions that my grandmother inherited from her elders. She passed them on to the next generation not by giving speeches on culture or tradition, but by her way of celebrating the festival. Those early impressions on the mind in childhood gradually became an integral part of our family life. The mother carried this legacy further. Diwali was an opportunity for her to make her children feel special. Four days before the festival, she would take charge of the kitchen. She would not only make a variety of dishes and sweets but also keep them hidden from me, so that the surprise would remain. My sister was very young then, so the main responsibility of spying on all the mysterious activities going on in the house was on my shoulders. Today, this legacy has come into the hands of my wife. Our daughter lives in New York, but the distance has not diminished the Diwali-connection in the slightest. My wife is back in the kitchen and making sweets for her. However, now a new dimension has been added to these preparations. She knows that the new generation eats less sweets, so she changes the recipe of the recipes without compromising on taste. She also takes care of sustainability, makes the amount of sweets so that they do not go to waste and above all, worries about how the sweets will be safe during the long journey. I see her packing everything with great care. Each box is checked frequently. She puts extra layers between the compartments for protection, checks the strength of the lids and makes sure nothing spills or falls even when the bag is handled around while passing through the airports and travelling. Sweets that take hours to make should also be packaged in such a way that it can withstand the journey of several thousand miles! There is something very poignant about this whole scene. My grandmother passed on the traditions, my mother made them unforgettable through her surprises, and my wife is finding ways to keep them relevant for a generation. Growing up in a completely different world. But one ritual has never changed – the oil bath and the scent of shikakai. Today, our daughter may be far away from us, but that familiar fragrance of home, the sweetness of the festival and the affection hidden behind packing every box with great care will travel with her. The trick is that festivals are not just an occasion to perform rituals, they are also an opportunity to give memorable experiences to the next generation. By making children experience these traditions, we are not only telling them family stories, we are also passing on our culture. Happy Diwali to all of you!