N. Raghuraman's column: Should we sugarcoat punishment to prevent aggression among children?

We all must have heard in our childhood, 'Stand on the bench'. "It was a common punishment. It was a little stricter, 'Stand outside the classroom.' Especially, when we used to bother the teacher of that period more. The second punishment is worse when you stand outside the classroom and the principal comes to the round. When I got such a punishment, I had to hide in the toilet twice. The third and worst punishment, which I always dreaded, was to 'meet in the principal's room after class.' "I never wanted such a punishment because the principal knew my dad and had a phone on his desk. They always threatened to call my dad's office. When I returned home that day, I didn't talk about the punishment and was overacting. This would expose the pot in front of my mother, and eventually she would ask, 'Was there any punishment in class today?' Sometimes I would refuse, which she would ignore and sometimes accept, but she would promise that she would not tell my father. Gradually, these sentences changed to 'A Note to Parents'. In this, the student had to get the signature of the parents, or it was written that 'Bring Dad with you tomorrow.' I saw all this until my daughter passed out of school. However, unlike his father, he was never punished. She was as sensible as her mother. After that I didn't know what school punishments were like, until I went to America. Some schools there have rooms twice as large as the closet and they call them by different names. They send the kids to that room behind the school administrator's cabin and call that place the 'work down room'. Some call it a 'chill room', some call it a 'reset space' or a 'self-management room'. While some strict schools call it a 'regulation station'. If parents question this isolation punishment, schools explain to them that it is a 'thinking room' — a term that prevents parents from thinking deeply. Interestingly, parents now have 45 different words that are used by schools across the country. They use words like 'wellness', 'self-support', 'focus' and 'mindfulness'. While parents are wondering how such words can be used, when the place is as small and scary as a cupboard, a child removed from class is placed there for misbehaving. During my visit I spent a lot of time around Harvard University, which is in the state of Massachusetts. Schools in this state are not required to tell parents when their child was kept in the 'timeout room'. This practice continues to this day, even though parents have insisted that it causes deep trauma to children. Many times children even urinate out of fear, only then do the parents come to know about the punishment. A local TV news story reported that a 5-year-old autistic child was struggling to get out of that room in a 28-minute sentence. This matter became a big topic of discussion among parents. When a mother named Micah Camille searched the records of her 8-year-old son, they found notes of low attendance and hyperactivity disorder. Shockingly, it also mentioned sending the child to the 'timeout room' twice. Now she blames the school for her son's angry behavior. Many parents say it's a prison. The problem is that if the younger generation is becoming too sensitive and short-tempered about small things, then schools will have to think again about punishment. Rendering harsh punishments in syrupy words like 'timeout room' probably can't assuage children's sensitivities.